Partly Facetious: We must thank Zardari for completing 5-year term

"Ed Miliband resigned as the leader after he led the Labour party to defeat."
"So?"
"So if that's democracy then why don't our leaders resign when they lead their party to defeat?"
"Are you insane? Our parties are personality run! How many vote for lets say the Khawajas and not Nawaz Sharif? How many vote for the likes of Farooq Sattar and not Altaf Bhai? How many vote for...."
"That's no longer true for all constituencies now! I mean we must thank Asif Ali Zardari for completing his five-year tenure because now there are many constituencies, especially in cities, voting on the basis of performance."
"Defeat is entirely due to rigging?"
"Excuse me?"
"Rigging by the returning officers, remember what Zardari sahib says and let's not forget the Khanzadehs."
"I see so its heads I win tails you lose."
"Well there are irregularities though that doesn't mean that our party leaders would resign because the party performs poorly at the polls - Zardari sahib lost and who gets fired? His son Bilawal for talking out of the script, the Khanzadehs lose and who gets fired at? Everyone but the party itself!"
"Ha ha ha though Bilawal has not been fired, merely suspended for awhile or so we hear..."
"I am serious."
"I know which is why it's funny, Zardari sahib fires those who don't toe his line, Nawaz Sharif stops talking to them, I am referring to Chaudhary Nisar here, and the Khan fires at those who he feels engaged in rigging..."
"Ah yes internalising and externalising that's the difference between an old time leader and the Khan - firing the malcontents within the party and firing at those outside the party."
"But the old timers also engage in externalising - the deal between PPP and the PML-N...."
"That's not how the Khan defines externalising but anyway leave Miliband take Farage - I believe our leaders gave him a technical assistance and now he says he will decide whether to stand for the leadership again later this year....."
"Ah yes, that's more like it!"